It is understandable that a retail computer system might have a problem understanding the basic customer service dilemma here. It is less understandable which it’s one of the largest retailers on the planet.
In any case, that’s what human customer service is for — for understanding the customer’s problem and coming to a common sense solution. Here’s what happened when I tried to elicit common sense from Amazon’s customer service:
8:10 PM: (Amazon)
OK, looks like you requested a refund for this item, but we haven’t received it back yet.Refunds are issued once returns are received by Amazon.After you drop off your return, it can take up to two weeks for Amazon to get it and process a refund.Did you return this more than two weeks ago?
8:10 PM: No
8:10 PM: (Amazon) Okay, please allow up to two weeks for us to receive your return.We’ll send you an email as soon as we issue the refund.And you can always track your return and refund status.Is there anything else I can help with?
8:10 PM: Yes, I need help with something else
8:10 PM: (Amazon) So, what can I help you with?
8:10 PM: help
8:11 PM: (Amazon) Ok, you can chat with an associate now or request a call back.You can also go to your Customer Service hub to fix most things or to search help pages. What do you prefer?
8:11 PM: Chat with an associate now
8:11 PM: (Amazon) If you have details you think would help the associate, type them here.An associate will join the chat.
8:11 PM: NNaman has joined & will be ready to chat in just a minute.Naman | Customer ServiceHello Good Day! I am here to assist you today. Could you please elaborate the issue?N
8:11 PM: I received the wrong item. The system would not let me replace with the same item, only refund.
8:12 PM: Naman | Customer ServiceI am sorry for the inconvenience caused to you.Please allow me a moment to check this for you.As I can check this item is not eligible for replace/exchange, You can refund the item and place a new order for the item. Really sorry for the inconvenience caused.I can help you with a return label for the item.N
8:15 PM: That makes no sense. I never got the item in the first place.I’m not replacing or exchanging the actual item I ordered. I am returning the incorrect item which I received.I’m just trying to get the item I ordered.
8:15 PM: Naman | Customer ServiceI understand your concern.N
8:15 PM: So I paid several hundred dollars for an item. You sent me something completely unrelated which I did not ask for and cannot use. Now my only recourse is to have my money tied up for weeks?
[At this point, the first customer service rep just ghosted me, then Rep #2 comes in, flying blind, apparently]
8:18 PM: VVishal has joined & will be ready to chat in just a minute.(Amazon) Hi, I am here to help you today. V
8:18 PM: I just want the item I ordered.
8:19 PM: (Amazon) Let me check this for you.As i have checked the package shows delivered V
8:20 PM: I ordered a laser engraver. You sent me a baby crib.I tried to return for replacement, it said not eligible.
8:20 PM: (Amazon) NO worries You can return the item i will help you with the full refund V
8:21 PM: I already tried that. It says I will get my refund up to two weeks after you receive the item.This is unacceptable.I’m asking you to send the correct item,.
8:22 PM: (Amazon) I am sorry for the inconvenience caused to you.But we do not have replacement option V
8:22 PM: It’s not replacement. It’s sending me the item I ordered.You have not done that yet.
8:23 PM: (Amazon) You can return the item for full refundAnd reorder the item V
8:23 PM: With several hundred dollars of my money tied up for up to two weeks?How is that fair.The problem was not caused by me. You sent me the wrong item.
8:24 PM: (Amazon) You can return the item for full refundAnd reorder the itemV
8:24 PM: You are being most unhelpful.